Hockey Card Stories #5: What Goalies Hate

      One time, as a little grade 6 going into middle school, I decided to try playing road hockey at lunch. I suited up for goalie, and got into the game. It went on normally, some goals, some saves. Then I got high-sticked in the face. Here's the kicker: goalies didn't wear masks at my school. My goggles didn't help that much, but I shook it off. A few minutes later, the same guy that had high-sticked me (the biggest grade 8 on the court) was on a breakaway. A couple meters from my net, he wound up and let rip a very hard shot. It flew straight and true, smacking me right in the lip. After getting fixed up, I went through the rest of the school day with a fat lip. What a way to start your school hockey career. I couldn't play the trumpet for the whole weekend.
     Anyway, I'm pretty sure goalies don't like getting hit in the face, among other things. Here are a few things that goalies really hate.

GETTING SCORED ON

I'll start with the obvious one. No goalie likes getting scored on. Having a bright red light flash at you every time you make a mistake, reminding the crowd that it's your fault is not a great experience.

Lundqvist tried so hard, but all he got was a defenseman in his net and Joe Colborne celebrating. Dominic Roussel looks behind himself with dread, not a good way to be a rookie. Bruce Hood points at you, reminding everyone again that: "This was the goalie who let in the goal!"

CROWDING IN THE CREASE

Goalie interference is not fun.

Mathieu Garon looks very uncomfortable in this photo, and for good reason. Daniel Sedin just bowled into him, and there are two others on the outside of the crease. Personal space is really not given to goalies all that much.

THE SHOOTOUT (OR BREAKAWAYS)

I don't think any goalie relishes the shootout. One on one is a whole new game from five on five. As seen on this card, Kari Lehtonen just got owned by Kyle Palmieri on a breakaway or shootout. Not fun.

THIS GUY

There could definitely be an advert on some Diply post about Wayne Gretzky for players to click on.

SLAPSHOTS

Who else to feature the goalie's worst enemy than the record holding Chara? Normal people would get out of the way of these things. Goalies try to get in the way.

SCREENS

Or, as Kelly Hrudey and Martin Brodeur like to say: "Staring at players' butts"

THE NET CAM

Also known as "having your butt on live TV"

Plus, It's generally used for goals anyway.

PLAYING THE PUCK

Thanks a lot, Jacques Plante, you brought upon us goalies what most of us now hate.

THE EQUIPMENT

It's heavy, it's itchy, it smells bad, and it's just dang uncomfortable.

SNOWSHOWERS

Yes! You've made the save, controlled the rebound, you feel good about yourself, and then...

some jerk sprays you with enough snow to make a snowman. Thanks, Colton.

So those are things that goalies all hate, loathe, dislike, etc. Have your own ideas? Post 'em in the comments! Keep updated for more hockey card blogs!

"The goalie is like the guy on the minefield. He discovers the mines and destroys them. If you make a mistake, somebody gets blown up."

                     -Arurs Irbe, former NHL goalie.